Being confident about your body is a significant part of having a healthy sex life. While both genders have hang-ups about their physiques, girls seem to take it to the extreme.
I’ve heard of many more women than men who don’t want to have sex with the lights on, or cover themselves with blankets post-coitus. They won’t walk around naked. They hate it when their lovers touch their stomachs or thighs.
Are you that girl? Does this sound like your girlfriend?
Either way, if this is familiar territory, it’s affecting your love life. Women’s magazines have been covering this topic with increasing zeal over the past few years, and now it’s spreading past the media.
Maybe you’ve seen it in your news feed. There’s a meme circulating around the Internet with photos of thin females, including Keira Knightley and Nicole Richie, stacked on top of a row of voluptuous pinups from decades past. A question spans the border: “When did this … become hotter than this?”
I’ve seen plenty of women repost, like and otherwise support it. Are you kidding me?
When did women decide that the enemy is one another? Why are we setting a weight limit for what makes someone a real woman?
The meme sidesteps the true issues behind poor body image and makes “thin” the enemy. It says, “Skinny females are not sexy. Curves are sexy.”
Shame on you. Shame, shame, shame. You know what’s really sexy? Health — and that comes in a variety of shapes and sizes, from a tiny waist to full, round hips.
I’m equally discouraged by “thinspiration” blogs — the photo of Kate Moss that says, “Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels,” is just as disturbing.
It’s unacceptable to champion any body type as ideal. Hourglass figures are classically attractive, yes. But I’ve seen some pretty succulent pears in my day.
Rather than rebelling against the rail-thin beauties fashion adorns with its greatest, latest styles, or shunning your curves to be skin and bone, celebrate all healthy physiques. If you’ve seen Keira Knightley in that photo, you can tell she works out. Don’t hate; do some crunches.
Maybe you’re not on either side of the insecure-females-bad-mouthing-other-females battle — you’re just uncomfortable in your own skin, picking apart the parts of yourself you don’t like.
That’s OK. You can fix that. Here are a few tips to get you started:
~Stop comparing yourself to others. Your body is unique, and you should hold it to personal standards.
~If you’re in a relationship, be open with your significant other. He or she is likely a bigger fan of your body than you are. Let your lover appreciate you — maybe you’ll figure out how to take a leaf out of his or her book.
~Ignore or avoid people who tease or criticize your body. If you don’t want to cut ties completely, talk to them about how rude they’re being.
~Inspire yourself to change. Buy an outfit that looks great on you, eat healthier or tell yourself something nice about your body every day. Do what it takes to get your mind in the right place to progress.
Body issues don’t have to be here to stay. Instead of slandering thin ladies or sneering at curvaceous beauties, girls should be focusing on more important attributes — personality and intelligence. You can’t blame men for zeroing in on the physical when women haven’t yet moved past it.
Email Ellie M. at [email protected].
