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UNF Spinnaker

Top Five Songs About D.T.F. Women

Who can forget those summer girls? I can. Inspired by one of the many quotable lines
from the 2007 comedy “Superbad,” these songs are about those scandalous babes you meet
in the darkest of places. These girls exude sexuality and spread faster than butter. Allow
me to introduce you to these mainstream mistresses:
“Darling Nikki” by Prince
Oh, Nikki, you are such a sex fiend. His Purple Majesty tells the story of this sex minx,
he “met her in a hotel lobby, masturbating to a magazine.” He details this casual encounter
as she takes him to her castle of electronic “devices” and sin. Little Nikki teaches
Prince how to grind as he squeals and moans over charismatic synths, trademark
royalty guitar riffs and smacking drums that accent every thrust of the song. It’s one of
Prince’s infamous songs which made him known as a freak.
“Superfreak” by Rick James
Get the images of Dave Chappelle out of your mind. Rick James liked his women like
he liked his music: funky. “She’s a very kinky girl, the kind you don’t take home to
mother,” squeals James while that iconic bass line rocks in the background. Since
three’s not a crowd for this unnamed vixen, let’s spend a night in room 714 with incense,
wine and candles.
“Rude Boy” by Rihanna
This Barbadian babe is needy for some Caribbean lovin’. After throwin’ down a glossy
beat with some tidbits of tom-toms, the songstress teases her lover by asking “Can
you get it up? … Is you big enough?” After a little bit of word foreplay, she gets to the
booty-clapper when she demands you to “give it to me baby like boom boom boom.” It’s
campy and seductive and oh-so luscious to have this island girl drop it like it’s hot. “I
like the way you touch me there/ I like the way you pull my hair/ Babe, if I don’t feel
it I ain’t faking no, no.” It’s time to be the captain and steer this boat into port.
“Flower” by Liz Phair
Anytime a girl says she wants to be your “blowjob queen,” you should be cautious
of her advances, in fear of catching the clap. Liz Phair reads off a list of the ways
she can please her lover on this sexual trance. Drums echo in the background like
a tribal ritual as Phair sings in monotone, “You’re probably shy and introspective/
that’s not part of my objective/ I just want your fresh young Jimmy/ jamming,
slamming, ramming in me.” It’s not the best pick-up line, but can you give her
points for honesty?
“Blah Blah Blah” by Ke$ha (feat. 3OH!3)
Slap some dirt, glitter and Astroglide on this chick, and she’s ready to go. Now pretty
much any song on the popster’s debut album, “Animal” is probably promiscuous
enough to make it on this list, but this one takes the cake. Ke$ha does not go metaphorical
on this track, she gets right down to it: shut up and bang me. Ke$ha sounds
mousy on this track as she says, “Don’t be a little b—- with your chit chat/ Just show
me where your d— at.” Yeah … use protection, guys.

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