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Top Five Ballads to Blow Cigarette Smoke to


September 30, 2009

Before I can seriously launch into this week’s Top Five, I must make sure it’s on the record that I am an almost 100 percent retired cigarette smoker. Unless a certain quality (or quantity, rather) of liquor has passe...

Top Five Ditties to Dodge Whilst Driving Alone at 3 a.m.


September 24, 2009

An acquaintance in high school once told me, “If a song I could see myself dying to comes on while I’m driving, I shut it off immediately.” This thought has swam through my noodle for many moons now, and I still reta...

Top Five Songs to Get Frisky to


September 16, 2009

Ooh yeah. To keep with the theme of this week’s paper, James thought it would be relevant to tailor the Top Five and follow suit. Always one to follow orders, I concocted a recipe of Top Five Songs to Get Frisky to — interpret...

Top 5 pays homage to New Zealand


June 3, 2009

May, nationally designated as masturbation month here in the U.S., is recognized in The Land of the Long White Cloud as New Zealand Music Month. All month long all those Kiwi kids so far south of the equator are boycotting t...

Top 5 Beginning of Summer Albums


May 26, 2009

Jason Yurgartis has left the building, people. He graduated from our university and for unknown reasons left me in charge of maintaining his brainchild weekly Top 5 lists. [Editors Note - She is more than qualified to fill Jas...

"Top Five" Songs You Shouldn’t Live Without


April 15, 2009

It seems many of your sarcasm detectors weren’t working as the last installment of the Top Five in the April 1 issue (Greatest Songs of All Time) was met with a wave of disgust and disdain. It was April Fools Day! Anyway, this...

"Top Five" greatest songs of all time


April 1, 2009

Each week, this list is your home for subjectively picked songs that are the best and brightest in a mélange of randomly conceived categories. But this week, let’s throw subjectivity out the window. The songs on this list are...

"Top Five" Spring songs


March 25, 2009

Well, it’s officially spring, even though seasons are more of a rumor than a reality in Florida. We could describe our seasonal climate much more accurately if we took a cue from Taco Bell sauces and went with “Mild,” “Hot”...

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Top Five