Commentary: Inside the Huddle – Mar. 4


Jason Yurgartis
Features Editor
Chad Smith
Graphic Designer
Rachel Elsea
Copy Editor
Clarence the Crooked Pirate
The Sissiest Pirate on the Seven Seas
Question 1: At age 37, Shaquille O’Neal scored 45 points in a game against the Toronto Raptors. Is it time to retire for the NBA legend while he is ahead?
Yeah, I think he should definitely take time out to concentrate on his rap and acting careers because he’s such a pro at both of them. Did you see Shaq during the All-star game? I don’t think he should retire, but he would definitely have a future on Dancing with the Stars busting moves like a 20-year-old. The point in life is to have a good time and find happiness. As long as he and the team are happy, he should stay a part of it. For one, Shaq isn’t a legend. That cutie Johnny Depp is. Anyway, it’s about time he retired and spent his money on a day spa.
Question 2: President Barack Obama sat courtside at a game where the Chicago Bulls lost to the Washington Wizards 90-113. Would you be on your best behavior if the president was at the same game you were?
Absolutely not. I’d buy him all the beers he could handle and high-five him an inappropriate number of times. And if I was at that particular game, I’d try to get him to heckle Joakim Noah with me. Hell no. I would be the first one to make a complete fool of myself to meet the president. I believe in opportunities; the Bulls, Wizards, or any NBA team for that matter can’t match up to that greatness. I am who I am. I don’t feel the need to act differently around different people. I’m never on my best behavior, if you know what I mean. And I was there, and Obama looked fantastic.
Question 3: A majority of the UNF tennis teams’ players are international students. Do you think that gives them an advantage over their opponents?
Maybe if they wear man-capris like Rafael Nadal used to wear. They are on the tennis team for a reason, and that’s to win. If Arnold Schwarzenegger decided to go pro in tennis, it wouldn’t matter either, as long as the Terminator hits forehand. It’s all about who is a good player. If international students are better at tennis than Americans, then yes. International students are more flexible, considering they do all that yoga and stuff.
Question 4: There was a massive search for NFL players Marquis Cooper and Corey Smith after their boat overturned near Clearwater, Fla. Would their situation be any less important if they were not pro athletes?
We’re infatuated with missing persons in this country. I think the situation would be important no matter who was missing; just look at Haleigh Cummings as an example. I would like to think they wouldn’t, but the priority is certainly heightened since it’s what drives the media. Hopefully their families will find solace in whatever the outcome is. I would hope not, but knowing what many in society like to read about, probably. If three hunky NFL players were stranded in my waters. I would rescue them in a heartbeat.

Compiled by Heather Furey.