TIE UP CLERK, CHECK; GRAB SMOKES, CHECK; TAKE MONEY, OH CRAP!
A robber demanded cash from the register at a gas station in Aurora, Ind., tied up the female clerk, grabbed a carton of cigarettes and ran out the door. He forgot the money.

He couldn’t get back inside because the door had an electronic lock. He fled. Police said the guy was “no brain surgeon.”

HMM, THESE LOOK PRETTY EQUAL TO ME, BUT LET ME CHECK TO MAKE SURE
At a reception at the Swedish Embassy in Helsinki, a drunken Finnish official shocked everyone by blatantly and shamelessly walking up to women and squeezing their breasts. He was forced to resign from his job: state secretary to Finland’s equality minister.

WE’RE TAKING IT, OLD MAN, AND YOU CAN’T STOP US … WHAP!
As a 52-year-old janitor at the University of Minnesota was walking toward his mo-ped late at night, when two teenagers approached him and said they were stealing the vehicle from him.

One pulled a knife. That’s when they found out that their victim used to be a Golden Gloves boxer. “I threw a couple punches,” he said later. “I was ready to dance a little bit.”

HAVE YOU GOT CHANGE FOR A WRIGLEY’S SPEARMINT?
After his credit card was declined, a heavily intoxicated man in Lawton, Okla., attempted to pay his bar tab with gum wrappers. Police were called.

OH, I DON’T THINK I’M OVERREACTING AT ALL … SMASH!
A construction worker in Hartington, England, discovered his girlfriend was having an affair with his childhood friend when he saw extremely suggestive text messages from him on her mobile phone. So he took a 13-ton steam shovel and smashed the guy’s car into a crumpled heap.

THIS COULD BE USED AS EVIDENCE AGAINST YOU IN A COURT OF LAW
A robber dropped his cell phone while mugging an 84-year-old woman in Mount Lebanon, Pa. Police said there was an outgoing text message on it which said, “I’m ready to grab some old lady’s purse.”

YES MA’AM, WE’RE QUITE SURE IT ISN’T OUR BABY
A mother in Horlesti, Romania, discovered the newborn baby she brought home had been accidentally switched at the hospital. The woman had given birth to a girl, but, when she changed the child’s diapers, she noticed a uniquely male characteristic.

(c) 2008, McClatchy-Tribune News Service.