Guide to avoiding awkward Thanksgiving conversations

Photo courtesy Wikimedia Commons
Photo courtesy Wikimedia Commons

Thanksgiving is home to fantastic food, estranged cousins and the most awkward conversations of the year.  How’s college going? Who did you vote for? Have you stopped drinking since the first day of class due to your crushing loneliness? Okay, maybe your family doesn’t ask that dark of a question. Nonetheless, here’s a guide on how to avoid and deal with those not so hot topics on turkey day.

The Election  

It’s been a few weeks since the nightmare ended (not really), but your family isn’t quite clear on how you contributed to this year’s race. This question is bound to come up and bound to ruin the meal, especially if you’re historically known to have highly differing viewpoints from the rest of your family.  

The easiest way out of this situation? Lie. It sounds crappy, but if there’s no argument, the conversation can only last for so long. You may be cringing on the inside for a minute, but it’s better than being denied the stuffing because Uncle Bill assumes you have a certain political agenda.

Are other members of your family divisive and continuing to bicker? You’re in the clear if you can continue to stuff your mouth with food instead of letting out your opinion. If someone puts you on the spot, just reply by signaling to your mouth full of mashed potatoes.

Your Grades

The semester is coming to a close and by Thanksgiving you’ll have a pretty good idea if you’re getting an A, fail, or praying you did well enough on finals to pass. They say C’s get degrees, but parents don’t always understand this concept.

You can hope this question won’t come up, but if it does the best method is a kind-hearted deflection. Politely inform the asking party that this is your break from school and that you’d much rather catch up on how everyone is doing.

Sure, you’ll have to listen to cousin Annabelle ramble on about how she climbed the monkey bars all by herself this month, but at least you’ll have another month and another good meal until you have to deal with the fact that you failed statistics for the second time.  

Your Love Life  

Thanksgiving often prompts many family members to bring their significant other back home for introductions or the reestablishing of your fellow family members as complete loners.   

If you bring your girlfriend or boyfriend with your for the meal, you should be covered, as grandma can get all the answers she needs right from the source.  

If you’re in a relationship but apart on Thanksgiving, keep every answer as vague as possible. This method will more than likely lead to more questions that giving full answers, but at least your aunt won’t know the intimate details. She’ll more than likely post as a comment on your next Instagram photo with your other half.

For the hopeless loner, it’s not hopeless to say that you’re taking some time to become the best you possible. Haven’t dated anyone in a long time? You’re either gonna have to count those Tinder flings as dates, or just make something up. You’ve been lying through the whole meal, so just keep it rolling.

What You’re Thankful For

Just say you’re thankful for your family and everything they do for you. It earns you bonus points and no one will question it since they’re just happy you came home for the holiday.

For more information or news tips, or if you see an error in this story or have any compliments or concerns, contact editor@unfspinnaker.com.

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