I can devote my entire philosophy on the Oscars to a song– “Award Tour” by A Tribe Called Quest. Not only is it a cheap gag to get me out of writing a proper lede, but the song is saying awards have no value. An Oscar is a piece of plastic.
The word “oscar” shouldn’t even be capitalized (don’t hold me to this). I could go on about how the oscars are whiter than Friends, Starbucks and Fox News combined. I have a thinkpiece prepackaged, but this topic been discussed endlessly–some of it very illuminating, some of it very moronic.
I could ramble on the critic-favorite “INARRITU’S A FALSE PROPHET!” narrative that’s been going around. I want you to know, I’m a perpetually disappointed person, so nothing that transpires on Monday night is going to make me angry. Taylor already beat Kendrick, The Life of Pablo is only on Tidal, and Donald Trump as a Serious Presidential Candidate already exists.
So, with that in mind, here we go:
Best Picture
There’s eight nominees for some reason: because THIS is where the voters want to be inclusive.
There plenty of sub-categories here:
- Inception award for film that’s too good to win – Mad Max: Fury Road
- Film that fills the Romance quota – Brooklyn
- Inarritu quota – The Revenant
- Pop-blockbuster/Space quota – The Martian
- Spielberg AND War quota – Bridge of Spies
- Michael Lewis quota – The Big Short
- Overlooked emotional trainwreck – Room
- Journalism Movie about the real heroes – Spotlight
Winner: The Revenant
You really wouldn’t be surprised would you? The Revenant’s 12 nominations show clearly how the academy felt.
Should Win: Mad Max: Fury Road
Action movies get a bad rep. Come on academy, do the right thing.
Snubbed: Carol
A intricate drama/romance about a lesbian relationship in 1950s. I still feel uneasy about this film losing out to The Martian (a film I really liked).
Best Actor
Eddie Redmayne – The Danish Girl
Michael Fassbender – Steve Jobs
Bryan Cranston – Trumbo
Matt Damon – The Martian
Leonardo DiCaprio – The Revenant
Winner: Leonardo DiCaprio
I don’t know if the Academy could ever overlook a decent storyline. If anything, they like giving awards to those deserved it years after the fact (see: Scorsese, Martin.)I’ve had enough of people saying: “DiCaprio went ALL OUT man.” Just give it to him.
Should Win: Michael Fassbender
Okay this pick is pretty safe, but you don’t have eat a buffalo liver to win. Fassbender was fantastic to watch in Steve Jobs. He brought the turtleneck and the condescension. I still don’t know whether I loathe or admire him.
Snubbed: Michael B. Jordan (Creed)
Yeah, this is one those picks. The New York Times had a great video on how black academy-nominated actors and actresses are usually in criminal, violent, slave or Africa-related films. The video stated that movie studios see minority audiences as niche genres. That is, they’re rarely portrayed as normal people. The academy really dropped the ball on Michael B. Jordan, especially due to the fact that Damon got nominated over him.
Best Actress
Brie Larson – Room
Charlotte Rampling – 45 Years
Cate Blanchett – Carol
Saoirse Ronan – Brooklyn
Jennifer Lawrence – Joy
Winner: Saoirse Ronan
She was phenomenal in Brooklyn. She played a strong emotional centerpiece to a film with a wonderful tone.
Should Win: Saoirse Ronan
Snubbed: Charlize Theron (Mad Max: Fury Road)
I have nothing against the five nominated actresses, but there is a trend of this award roles going to women who play housewives. Furiosa, the true protagonist of Mad Max, was one of the better female action heroes of the past decade.
Best Director
Lenny Abrahamson – Room
Alejandro G. Inarritu – The Revenant
Tom McCarthy – Spotlight
Adam McKay – The Big Short
George Miller – Mad Max: Fury Road
Winner: Alejandro G. Inarritu
He’s the favorite, hands down. The Revenant was a beautiful, if slightly overrated film.
Should Win: Tom McCarthy
The best director field is pretty strong this year. Spotlight shed light on a very serious subject without dramatization.
Snubbed: John Crowley (Brooklyn)
The Irish-born Crowley based Brooklyn off his own immigration experiences, and I think he really captured what it feels the pangs of homesickness and the best and worst of changing your identity in a changing world. Creed’s Ryan Coogler belongs here as well.
Best Supporting Actor
Mark Ruffalo – Spotlight
Sylvester Stallone – Creed
Tom Hardy – The Revenant
Mark Rylance – Bridge of Spies
Christian Bale – The Big Short
Winner: Sylvester Stallone
Guys, I found it. Here’s the legacy pick. Is it deserved? Maybe.
Should Win: Christian Bale
I have no bias whatsoever.
Snubbed: Idris Elba (Beasts of No Nation)
I think Elba (a black actor) was snubbed because Beasts of No Nation was released through Netflix. Imagine if more movies did that. The academy would lose its sh*t.
Best Supporting Actress
Rachel McAdams – Spotlight
Rooney Mara – Carol
Jennifer Jason Leigh – The Hateful Eight
Kate Winslet – Steve Jobs
Alicia Vikander – The Danish Girl
Winner: Kate Winslet
Vikander and Mara may be the favorites, but Winslet’s played the ice to Fassbender’s fire (God, did I just write that). It was the essential supporting performance, and the movie would’ve been a lot worse with anyone else.
Should Win: Jennifer Jason Leigh
Leigh played the foul-mouthed Daisy Domergue Tarantino latest (slightly underwhelming) gorefest.
Snubbed: Alicia Vikander (Ex-Machina)
The Academy would be going against the grain if they nominated an actress twice, but Ex-Machina was really left out this year.
Visual Effects
Ex Machina
Mad Max: Fury Road
The Martian
The Revenant
Star Wars The Force Awakens
Winner: Star Wars The Force Awakens
Aren’t Star Wars films immediately given this award? The original trilogy never lost this category when it was nominated. Since The Force Awakens traced A New Hope’s formula exactly, I think we can just slot it in there.
Should Win: Mad Max: Fury Road
That violent driving scene. Well, the whole movie was a violent driving scene. It has to win, at least in this category. I have a fear that this film might go home empty-handed.
Snubbed
No complaints from me. I’m trying to place Jurassic World above any of these five and I just can’t.
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