Going on a cruise this spring break? You better have fun, because you will probably spend way too much money and you probably won’t think about how badly the boat is polluting the ocean, the least you can do is be happy.

You will probably be too wasted on $10 strawberry daiquiris and $8 beers to remember though. You will probably spend too much time under the sun and develop a healthy amount of premature skin cancer. You will probably take an embarrassing amount of photos and post them on Facebook ASAP. And you will probably have the lamest spring break I can possibly imagine.

So enjoy, you predictably boring waste case, you.

I on the other hand will be on a wild adventure, digging into the Smokey mountainside and climbing rock in ‘bama.
If I hurt your feelings, get over it. If you think I’m a little too smug, I am. All I really mean to say, and in a slightly less condescending way, is get out and do something different this spring break.

Whether you’re staying in town or making a little journey, there are plenty of new and exciting activities out there. So don’t just turn your brain to mush for seven days straight.

If you’re planning on keepin’ it real in the 904, check out page 13 in the Spinnaker for a schedule of Jacksonville activities going on during break week, such as penguin visits and other stimulating activities that would make your mother proud.

And if you don’t hear from us here at the Spinnaker for a while, worry not; we will be sure to update you on our thrilling voyages upon return. I know I for one will be virtually technology free for the duration of spring break. I can’t wait!

I’ll be sleeping in a tent, eating farm-raised veggies, getting dirty, playing in waterfalls, biking hills, listening to live music and drinking fresh brews in Asheville for half the week. The other half will be solely devoted to climbing. Over yonder in the fine state of Alabama (of which I have never stepped foot) the UNF rock climbing team and friends will convene for some quality camping and climbing.

I will be in heaven.

As of right now there is one small snag in the schedule, however. Weather.com’s 10 day forecast is as follows: A high chance of rain showers, a high of 52 degrees and a low of 35. Crap. Maybe a cruise isn’t such a bad idea after all … I hope you get your wallet stolen.