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Rachel Elsea Copy Editor |
Clarence the Crooked Pirate The Sissiest Pirate on the Seven Seas |
| Question 1: At age 37, Shaquille O’Neal scored 45 points in a game against the Toronto Raptors. Is it time to retire for the NBA legend while he is ahead? | |||
| Yeah, I think he should definitely take time out to concentrate on his rap and acting careers because he’s such a pro at both of them. | Did you see Shaq during the All-star game? I don’t think he should retire, but he would definitely have a future on Dancing with the Stars busting moves like a 20-year-old. | The point in life is to have a good time and find happiness. As long as he and the team are happy, he should stay a part of it. | For one, Shaq isn’t a legend. That cutie Johnny Depp is. Anyway, it’s about time he retired and spent his money on a day spa. |
| Question 2: President Barack Obama sat courtside at a game where the Chicago Bulls lost to the Washington Wizards 90-113. Would you be on your best behavior if the president was at the same game you were? |
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| Absolutely not. I’d buy him all the beers he could handle and high-five him an inappropriate number of times. And if I was at that particular game, I’d try to get him to heckle Joakim Noah with me. | Hell no. I would be the first one to make a complete fool of myself to meet the president. I believe in opportunities; the Bulls, Wizards, or any NBA team for that matter can’t match up to that greatness. | I am who I am. I don’t feel the need to act differently around different people. | I’m never on my best behavior, if you know what I mean. And I was there, and Obama looked fantastic. |
| Question 3: A majority of the UNF tennis teams’ players are international students. Do you think that gives them an advantage over their opponents? | |||
| Maybe if they wear man-capris like Rafael Nadal used to wear. | They are on the tennis team for a reason, and that’s to win. If Arnold Schwarzenegger decided to go pro in tennis, it wouldn’t matter either, as long as the Terminator hits forehand. | It’s all about who is a good player. If international students are better at tennis than Americans, then yes. | International students are more flexible, considering they do all that yoga and stuff. |
| Question 4: There was a massive search for NFL players Marquis Cooper and Corey Smith after their boat overturned near Clearwater, Fla. Would their situation be any less important if they were not pro athletes? | |||
| We’re infatuated with missing persons in this country. I think the situation would be important no matter who was missing; just look at Haleigh Cummings as an example. | I would like to think they wouldn’t, but the priority is certainly heightened since it’s what drives the media. Hopefully their families will find solace in whatever the outcome is. | I would hope not, but knowing what many in society like to read about, probably. | If three hunky NFL players were stranded in my waters. I would rescue them in a heartbeat. |
Compiled by Heather Furey.
