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Best Place to Study – Library, Third Floor A close runner-up for the “Best Place to Nap” category, this particular library level offers a serene environmental ideal for digesting scholastic materials. And if your stomach is growling for something other than academia, the window rooms offer a killer view of sad shuttled students. |
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Best Live Performance on Campus – Ben Folds Did anyone else even play on campus this year? Maybe a few lackluster, cash-money rappers with “young” tagged onto the front-side of their moniker or a deflated group of Hot Topic regulars, sure. The ivory-ticklin’-good performance earlier this month topped the year’s live jams. |
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Best Place to Nap – The Green Whether you’re a dirty, lazy hippie or hung-over business major, there’s no place like this mid-campus savanna to catch some between-class shut-eye. Just watch out for Frisbees, footballs and self-righteous preachers. |
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Best Place to Live on Campus – The Village Each year, upperclassmen flock to the only apartment-style (and cleanest) dorms available – The Village. Featuring a full kitchen, living area and bath, students feel more like they’re living in a townhouse than a dorm. |
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Best Place to Streak – UNF Baseball Game Do you have no shame? Have you had a few too many drinks? Come on over to Harmon Baseball Stadium, shed some clothes and make the cops chase you. There really is nothing like being in the back of a police car naked, and short of being a hooker, this is the easiest way to get that job done. |
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Best Zealot Preacher – Angry Marine Guy Jacked and fresh off a tour of duty near the holy land, this guy hates your sexual promiscuity, drinking habits and overall lifestyle, but he has no problem with the idea of shooting innocent civilians in the face in the name of oil and imperialism. As Bad Religion said, “the voice of God is government.” Sage-like wisdom, folks. |
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Best Place to Lose Internet Connectivity – Fine Arts Building Yes, it makes perfect sense that the home of the department of communications is the hardest place to communicate on the Web. Got some last minute homework to finish? Not here. It’s the nightmare of any self-respecting procrastinator. |
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Best Shuttle Driver – Sonia Jackson “I love you all; I love UNF; ya’ll are the reason I get up and go to work,” Jackson said. With Tupac cranked to 11 and a gregarious greeting cranked to 12, stepping onto Jackson’s shuttle will always brighten your day. There couldn’t be a better way to introduce yourself to the otherwise questionable cushions of the morning shuttle. |
| Best Animal – UNF Narwhal Deep in the realms of the mystical nature trails, dwells the wise Norwegian Narwhal. Go to him to glean celestial insight. Be warned of this mysterious creature’s unpredictable mood swings, however, or you might just get narred. |
Spinnaker’s Best of UNF
April 15, 2009
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