Inside the Huddle


Patty McJazzfingers
Ribbon Dancer Extraordinare
Jacques Strappe

Baguette Fencing Aficionado
Pigskin Potanken

Extreme Jaguar Fan

Oldie, but Goodie
Question 1: What is the scariest sports moment you have ever seen?
Watching Chad Johnson
make a disgrace of the only real sport – professional dancing – everytime he scores.
Did you see the old uniforms French track and field athletes wore in the 19th century? Frightening. Any year the Jaguars don’t make the playoffs is my worst nightmare. A good MLB field fight tops my list. I’d bet money pitting Nolan Ryan with anybody in the league today. Have you seen his headlock? Vicious.
Question 2: From Demon Deacons to Horned Frogs, professional and collegiate sports are home to a variety of wacky mascots with even wackier costumes. Who do you think has the most unique mascot costume?
The Rochester Rhinestones professional dance team’s mascot – the right foot, left foot rhino. Have you seen Goleo, the mascot for the World Cup? The little smiling soccer ball that he holds in his hand is so adorable. Syracuse University. I would hate to walk around all day as a giant orange. Although, I guess it could be helpful if I got thirsty. The Philly Phanatic. Really, what is he? A mythical sewer creature? What ever happened to a good meaningful mascot like the San Diego Padres’ Swinging Friar?
Question 3: Game five of this year’s World Series was the first ever World Series game to be postponed. Was the postponement a trick or a treat?
A treat. It gave me a few extra hours to practice the cupid shuffle – my signature move. A treat. Because of the postponement I was able to watch a few re-runs of Maury rather than a silly exhibition of America’s so-called pastime. Anything to postpone the demise of a Florida team’s chances of winning a title is a treat. At my age, I don’t have much time for postponements. Besides nothing postpones bed time.
Question 4: New York Knicks head coach Mike D’Antoni recently said Eddy Curry would not be on his starting nine-man rotation to start the season. Is Curry becoming a ghost of the old Knicks in D’Antoni’s new system?
I danced with a ghost once, but that one could play basketball. Mike D’Antoni holds dual citizenship in Italy and America. Everyone knows the only European coaches that can be trusted are French. I find D’Antoni’s policies very sketchy. The only thing I know about ghosts is that Patrick Swayze does not make a good one. I’ve never seen a ghost in my day, but my take is they can’t be much of ball players. Well, except in Field of Dreams, that was all real.

Compiled by John Weidner.