Top Five Songs About Haircuts

Spinnaker

With sweat-summoning temperatures come the obvious clothes shedding, hiked-up electric bill and best of all, the summertime haircut. Be it courtesy of a high-end salon in swanky San Marco or an Arlington-based buddy charging beer (I like IPA, by the way), a nice ear-lowering might help take the edge off the beginning of this inevitably brutal summer weather. Just an idea. To help you raise the courage to shed some strands, I’ve compiled the Top Five Songs About Haircuts. Start considering other ways to fill your shampoo-time in the shower (you stop that) and peruse on.

“Cut Your Hair” by Pavement

Perhaps one of the greatest bands of all time delivers in their most radio-friendly ditty (it did show up on MTV from time to time around its ’94 release when “Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain” dropped) a perfect pop song preaching the importance of a stylish ‘do. If no other lessons go learned from basking in the glory of this song, please remember Stephen Malkmus’s stipulation, “No big hair!”

“Cut My Hair” by The Who

From the late ’70s rock opera, “Quadropehnia,” The Who details the distinct correlation between a killer coif and decent social status. The Brits use their trademark epicocity and beautiful manes themselves to pound home the message. Now, where are your clippers?

“Devils Haircut” by Beck

Beck. Can this man ever do wrong (besides that little Scientology thing I’m willing to overlook)? And why hasn’t the Devil’s Lock of Jerry Only’s stature basked in a full-fledged comeback yet? Some many questions go unanswered during this dancey, nostalgic number. However, when coupled with some intensive rollerblading or spiked lemonade, man, can it ever inspire you to try a new hair style.

“The Haircut Song” by Ray Stevens

Silly as all hell, Stevens proved himself far ahead of his time by brewing up a hit in 1989 with the potential for quite the riotous YouTube fan vid. I mean, the man’s quasi-classic country vocals soundtracking some of the shittiest/stylish … est hair art I’ve ever set eyes on. The canned audience laughter only reassures any snips you might have in mind.

“Don’t Cut Your Hair” by the Pretenders

Yes, it may seem this song takes a position to urge against taking a blade to your winter-grown locks. OK, the SEX boutique-inspired band straight up advises against all of my previous suggestions. “Don’t cut it/ Don’t chop it/ It’s like the bomb if you got it, don’t drop it.” Even more nonsensical lyrics and Chrissie Hynde’s fast-paced vocal work all aiming to talk one out of hair shrinkage … well, maybe you shouldn’t cut your hair after all.