Welcome to Spinnaker’s annual Super Bowl award show where someone not interested in the Super Bowl (that’s me–Go Jags), pays more attention to the commercials than the actual game and then proceeds to write about them.

Let’s make one thing clear: When I write “Spinnaker’s annual Super Bowl award show” I really just mean my award show because I’m consulting zero of my fellow Spinnaker peers. Every decision made from this point forward was made by me, so when you get upset that I gush about the new Pirates of the Caribbean commercial, don’t blame Spinnaker. Blame me.

Best Movie Trailer

I warned you.
As I’m silently watching the Super Bowl, not the least bit excited in the game, I hear a subtle twang of a song by none other than the Man in Black, Johnny Cash. My attention is immediately grabbed and as I look at my tv screen fully expecting another Logan trailer, I see the open sea.

Could it be? Could this be the new Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales trailer I’ve been waiting on? As we get a better look at the boat, we get a glimpse of what appears to be a bird. This bird, though, is ghostly and dead. This bird is a bird of Captain Salazar, the new antagonist of the Pirates franchise, a long-dead pirate set on killing every pirate alive, especially the fabled Jack Sparrow.

For the next minute and a half, I’m in a state of bliss. I ignore the plate of hot wings that sit before me and my friends and family no longer matter, because for this minute and a half, the only thing that matters is this trailer.

The Black Pearl, the Flying Dutchman, the Queen Anne’s Revenge, Salazar’s ghostly ship, Salazar, Barbossa, Jack and Will Turner, Mr. Davy Jones himself. They’re all here and back for a return to form (I hope) for a series that was near extinction after 2011’s poorly received, Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides.

There’s plenty to “ooh” and “ahh” at, and I’m sure I’ll be writing something on it soon, but for now, go feast your eyes on the best movie trailer that aired during some football game.

Most Heartwarming Commercial

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ZmlRtpzwos

They unanimously win this every year and Super Bowl LI is no different. Anheuser-Busch takes the trophy. While their Budweiser commercials are usually about a dog, some beer and a Clydesdale, this year went with a more timely subject matter: immigration.
The commercial is about a man who travels from his home in Germany to America to start something new. We witness him crossing the seas on a ship, battling rough waves and thunderous storms. He arrives to a town only to be met with criticism and hate. Passerbys tell him to return home and get out. This man marches forward. He eventually makes it to a town where he’s met with open arms and a warm welcome. It’s here that he meets his partner and it’s here that Anheuser-Busch was born.

Fictional or not, this story is about a man who comes to America to make his dreams come true and succeeds in doing so. According to Anheuser-Busch Budweiser, “when nothing stops your dream, this is the beer we drink.”

Funniest Commercial

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1dQ9a5EFZeI

When Melissa McCarthy appeared on screen, I immediately rolled my eyes, per the usual. I generally find her uninspired and unoriginal, devoid of any real comedic talent. But for you, the reader, I had a sworn duty to report the funniest commercial that aired during the Super Bowl and somehow, McCarthy’s Kia ad takes the cake. I’ve watched this commercial multiple times and I’m not sure why I laugh each time but if that’s what Kia was trying to do, they certainly made it happen. I’m also not sure why McCarthy played an environmentalist who specializes in almost every aspect of the environmental safety movement, but she does and it works.

Best Spoof

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b49dfTUFFZQ

A few years ago, a book centered on BDSM and a terribly unhealthy relationship took the world (of our moms) by storm. If that description wasn’t enough, hopefully this is: Fifty Shades of Grey.

Two years ago, the movie version of the popular book was released. I haven’t watched it nor do I plan to but my mom loved it and so did yours. In just a few days, the sequel to the movie, and number two in the franchise, Fifty Shades Darker, will spark a fire in fans of the franchise once again and it’s here that T-Mobile wins the best spoof commercial of the night. The commercial focuses on Kristen Schaal and her punishment should she go over her data limit. You don’t have to be a fan of the source material, though, to be a fan of this commercial. I promise.

Best Video Game Commercial

In case you somehow haven’t heard, the nearly 200-year-old company (bet you didn’t know they started in 1889), Nintendo, is releasing a brand new console and on the same day that the console is being released –March 3– a new Zelda game is hitting the shelves of game stores around the world. Fans of the series have anticipated the release of Zelda: Breath of the Wild for years and there’s less than a month to go until it’s finally in their hands. The commercial focused on one thing and one thing only: hype. Watch this trailer. If you weren’t hyped yet, you will be.

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