Parking, Transportation Services can suck it

By Nichole Silver

The Lonely Island song “Natalie’s Rap” plays over and over in my head after the arrival of my 2011-12 parking pass.

The line “Yo, shut the fuck up and suck my dick” seems to be a particularly appropriate sentiment after a brief and uninformative phone call to the office on a Monday morning. The new policy, in case you are walking to class and have no idea where this anger is coming from, is that all decals are to be fixed decals instead of the hangtags of the past.

After reading the minutes from the March 25 Parking Advisory Council meeting, I realize all of the obvious objections to such a drastic change — i.e. not being able to use multiple vehicles, having to buy multiple passes, unwanted damage to our cars, etc. — were blatantly ignored and few, if any, acceptable alternatives have been provided to us.

As someone who drives my personal vehicle, as well as my work vehicle, to campus at least once a week, I benefited greatly from the hangtag decal situation. It was very convenient, and I cannot imagine I am the only one who was more than a little upset to receive my sticker in the mail — with a short and infuriating letter explaining the situation.

I thought perhaps I had ordered the wrong tag while navigating the convoluted Parking Services site, but alas, it was not my doing and there was no way of fixing it.

I came up with the idea of taping my new decal to my hanging decal from last semester, but that was met with an automated response from the receptionist at Parking Services, informing me the only options were the ones laid out in the letter.

After I was passed along to the third person “in charge” at Parking Services, I was at the end of my patience and no longer diplomatic.

“So, what you are saying is that I now have to pay you more money, and in return, I get a pass that is valid for parking in BFE and that is also a sticker tag.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Well, those are all pretty shitty options. Is there a place I can send a letter of complaint?”

“That information can be found on our website under the tab … ”

At this point, I had set my phone down on the counter and was counting to 10. I decided a letter to the Spinnaker might actually be read by someone instead of tossed out with the recycling. I would like to know who thought this would be a good idea.

Did they really have that many issues with students forgetting to put their hangtag on their mirror? Why are these decisions being made by people that do not buy parking passes?

How many instances of people smashing in windows to steal a hangtag were there? Is it about our safety or is it about our money?

In each semester statement, there is a charge for parking and a charge for the shuttle. We are then charged for our actual decals, then for daily passes, then ticketed when we do not obey.

The whole system is just another way to squeeze more money out of us.

I am saying, “No More!”

Screw you, Parking Services, and your greedy, money-grubbing ways. Screw you and your uninformative automated responses. Screw you for hiding behind the guise of protecting us against theft and our own forgetfulness.

Most of all, screw you and your asinine sticker system.