Plan the next years of your collegiate life based on your favorite Internet meme
By Ryan Thompson, Features Editor
Deciding which major to pursue at UNF is a beautiful and terrible thing, and should therefore be treated with utmost whimsy. If all that late-night web browsing somehow gives you insight into how things can work in real life, maybe selecting your future based on an Internet meme may not seem as silly as it reads. Search through the following popular catchphrases that spread virally through the Internet. With the spring 2012 course schedule available on Blackboard and the deadline to declare or change majors coming up Nov. 10, making an informed and thoroughly thought-out decision may match a mouse’s click in quickness and efficiency.
Email Ryan Thompson at features@unfspinnaker.com.
Musically Oblivious Eight Grader | Music:
Sure, you like listening to music, and you’ve always been ace at keeping up a beat. But do you really know what’s new, unique, different and fantastic about contemporary music? Contemporary jazz and percussion don’t count.
Sample meme:
‘Pumped Up Kicks’?
I just bought some new shoes!
Y U NO? | Psychology:
Psychoanalyzing people can pay a toll on your own sanity — didn’t you see “50/50”? Psychology lets others open their brain doors to you, but it also leaves you asking why your patients didn’t take an alternative route.
Sample meme:
Abusive parent,
Y U NO RECOGNIZE FLAWS AS IMPORTANT PART OF LIFE?
Nyan Cat |Transportation and Logistics:
Not that all transportation and logistics majors enjoy rainbows following them and PopTart torsos, but they love that going-and-going-and-going feel. For those who want creative, colorful ways of moving something from a first point to a second.
Philosoraptor | Philosophy:
If asking existential questions on your way from Outtakes to the Library tickles your not-so-fancy sneakers, then try philosophy on in the academic fitting room. For those who want to ask a bunch of questions but don’t want definitive answers.
Sample meme:
What if there is someone like me
And a place like this?
Archaic Rap | Anthropology, English, History:
Looking at things that already happened to search for life’s truths takes some knowledge of older sayings. From there, you’ll need to decide if you want to discover, read or both. For those who hop down the throats of those who don’t use proper grammar.
Sample meme:
Pardon me, sir, but thou art quite the fine young gentleman.
I doth protest that I possess an object for sons of the revolution.
Paranoid Parrot | Criminal Justice:
Criminal justice majors understand their senses. A little extra thoroughness never hindered anyone. Sure, psychology majors might define paranoid in a different way, but justice prevails at the end of the night, who cares?
Sample meme:
Test Day
Bring five extra Scantrons and pencils
All of the Things | Liberal Studies:
When it’s time to confront your undecided status, why not try out the liberal studies degree? You have to have at least a 3.0, and you get to choose from all of the courses UNF has to offer. You’ll be good at everything when you graduate.
Sample meme:
Study ALL the SUBJECTS
Planking | Nursing:
At the end of a long day or night of studying, pre-internships and eventually working, falling flat on your face in a comfortable bed may seem like a slice of euphoria on earth. You assist patients on their backs all shift, why not flip over?
Business Cat | International Business:
Ain’t no fluff allowed in the business world. For the straight-laced yet whimsical lot, a business school education may be your catnip. And, sure, business may send you on a whirl, but you’ll always land on your feet.
Sample meme:
I’m taking the rest of the day off
To settle this serious ball of yarn situation
Chemistry Cat | Chemistry
The Internet likes cats, so three cat memes make this list. That shouldn’t stop those who enjoyed chemistry jokes in high school from choosing a major. Yeah, chemistry leads to important accolades, such as first-to-cure-a-certain-terminal-illness, but who could work toward that without several laughs along the way?
Sample meme:
How are those grams of oxygen and potassium looking today?
OK
#firstworldproblems | Computing:
In this technological age, the world needs those who stay on top of the digital machinery around us. We need those who will tell us to, next time, just unplug our computers when that happens. And then you step in.
Sample meme:
I left my iPad at home, so now I have to play Angry Birds on my iPhone.
“Friday” | Education:
Everyone knows teachers get weekends off. Everyone knows that when the last students leave the classroom on a Friday afternoon, those who educate blare their favorite music and dance. They even get summers off, too.
The Rent is Too Damn High | Art:
Some students complain about the cost of tuition and fees or the number of required books they need to buy. But if you’d rather give your money to a creation than to correct answers on a Scantron test, you know what to do.
Sample meme:
The paintings
Have yet to dry
Imma Let You Finish | Communication:
Communication majors don’t know how or when to shut up. They interrupt mid-sentence and always have a pseudo-clever remark to make. However, they never pass up an opportunity to just listen. They’ll let you finish, but only after they finish first.
Rick Roll | Political Science:
They’ll never give up, let anyone down or lie to anyone. Political science majors understand what makes government tick and all the voided promises that come with it. Plus, living life in a haze full of unfulfilled, idealized wishes beats the real world, anyway.
I Like Turtles | Biology:
Studying animals and plants all day allows bio majors to avoid what others may call the important issues. When asked a bunch of questions about what they want to do with their lives, these life-loving few supply one three-word answer: They like turtles.
