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We often believe that college is where we find the people who will be standing next to us on the “most important days of our lives” as lifelong best friends. 

However, a more accurate discovery I have made throughout my college experience is that adult friendships are complicated, and even sleepless exam weeks are not enough to bond a friendship forever— and that’s okay. 

In research, I found that other college students share a similar sentiment. 

One student from the University of Pennsylvania wrote an article about how college friendships don’t always last because of the evolution of the relationship. 

Another student from the University of Utah wrote an article discussing how even though these friends aren’t always forever, they are still important in the now.

The temporary nature of some college relationships seems to be a shared experience, no matter where we are.

While that freshman friend group of six may feel invincible, college challenges these relationships as friends start to pursue internships, discover new potential career paths and network with others.

Therefore, maintaining these friendships requires a lot of intentionality and continuing with the expectation that it will not always be easy.

Candance Echols from Southern Living wrote an article explaining how college friendships are unparalleled because of their fun and reckless nature and the flexibility of college schedules. Although I agree that college friendships are unique and can create lasting memories, these qualities do not guarantee longevity.

According to Nystrom & Associates, some ways to successfully maintain relationships include communicating regularly, listening well and showing appreciation to friends. 

The friends I have made as a college student have been some of the hardest to sustain. As we grow older, friendships become increasingly complex due to life’s complications, such as newfound responsibilities and differing stages of life.

Each group member may find themselves pursuing goals that tear them away from their friends, physically and metaphorically. 

I think it’s important to avoid feeding into the pressure of “finding your bridesmaids” in college. By subjecting every college friendship to the expectation that it will last forever, a false sense of security distracts from the true complexities of these relationships. 

Writing for The New York Times, Emma Pattee explains five tips on creating closer friendships and the importance of having close friends. Some tips include being consistent, observant and willing to open up to others. 

However, In the event of a friendship break-up, the real caveat is to accept that it is okay to move on. 

I don’t want to seem like a complete cynic. I believe that friendships, no matter when or how they were made, can last. I just wish someone had warned me of how much work adult friendships can be and that friend break-ups are real— and they hurt, but it’s okay to let them go.

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