This is not a Valentine’s Day column

Carl Rosen

A child and two white reindeer at Christmas. Photo courtesy of Facebook.
A child and two white reindeer at Christmas. Photo courtesy of Facebook.

 

I’m not going to tell you where to make dinner reservations tonight. I’m not going to give you a rundown of the best and worst Valentine’s gifts. And I’m not going to tell you about how much I hate today.[1]

Now that the Spinnaker has a weekly sex column, you’d think we’d have crafted something special for good ol’ V-Day. And I’m here to say no thanks. Traditional Valentine’s columns are stupid and irrelevant.

This column’s intention isn’t to dissuade you from participating in Valentine’s Day shenanigans.[2] It’s about not waiting for one day out of the year to do something nice for someone you care about. Treat your significant other the way they deserve to be treated—wine and dine them, break out the “special sex,” light some candles, and for the love of whatever higher power you believe in, put on some Marvin Gaye—but don’t only do it today, do it tomorrow too—and maybe the day after that.

College isn’t just a time for a sexual awakening: it’s a time to refine one’s romantic weaponry. Sharpen your blades of seduction, and set your phasers to stun.[3] Enjoy candle lit dinners as much as possible, and with as many different people as you want. Serenade on a random Tuesday because Tuesdays are the worst. Tuesday is the black sheep of the weekday family—it is the real “Monday,” if you will, so change that.

And I’m not just talking about guys or Tuesdays.

To be candid, male chivalry is dying and I couldn’t be happier. The expectation for men to open car doors and gallantly lay their coats over puddles is unrealistic and outdated. It’s time for men and women to open doors for each other because doors aren’t that heavy: it’s a polite gesture, regardless of gender.

Whether it’s February 14 or April 76, it’s okay to do something nice. You don’t need to be prompted, you don’t need to buy a Hallmark card and you don’t even need to be in “love.”

 


[1] Which I do.

[2] Although, you should thoroughly think about the implications of making Hallmark’s wallet any fatter than it already is. And when Hallmark does finally get organized and declares war on the rest of the world, just remember you heard it here first.

[3] I’m so happy I got to use that reference. My life is complete.