Five things to do if the Jaguars lose today
January 14, 2018
We all know the Jacksonville Jaguars are going to pull out a dominant victory against the Pittsburgh Steelers today. But, it’s always best to plan for the worst-case scenario, regardless of how unlikely it is. Here’s five things you can do if the Jaguars somehow lose today.
Tweet your frustrations at the team’s twitter account
I totally understand. Sometimes nothing seems more satisfying than venting your frustration at the public face of the team that let you down again. How dare @Jaguars tweet out content that optimistically looks forward to next season. You deserve to be angry and take out that anger on a random social media manager whose main responsibility this year has been to say DUUUVAL! Every 20 minutes.
Burn your Bortles jersey
With temperatures dropping in #Sacksonville today, there’s no reason why a traditional franchise QB jersey burn following a tough loss shouldn’t take place. Regardless of the rest of the Jaguars performance, we all know Bortles should have played better. So take off your shirt, whip out your teal and gold lighter and set your $100 investment ablaze. It’ll warm your body and your soul.
Buy a new jersey for another playoff team
Look, you and I both know you probably were never a real Jaguars fan before this year. Maybe you played as Maurice Jones-Drew on Madden 12, but that never made you into a true fan of the team. Your loyalty has always secretly been to the (insert remaining playoff team here). Just make sure you completely delete all social media evidence of your prior fandom. You wouldn’t want to look like a fair-weather fan when your new jersey arrives in the mail.
Watch the Saints at Vikings game
Football is football. You may be 0-1 on the day’s games, but that doesn’t mean you can’t watch the final divisional playoff match-up. Go purple team, you seem to have nice looking jerseys! Yeah fella, you throw that pass good! Wow, it is so refreshing to watch a game whose outcome has no impact on my health, well-being or life in general. Man, I wish the Jaguars could’ve…
Cry
*weeps*